so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
