I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
