Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
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