What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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