i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
