K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
