were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Randomize
