So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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