i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
