Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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