I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize