You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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