Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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