I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
