FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
