Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You are the jesus of drinking
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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