I wish i was in the wii world.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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