I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need moral support for this bender
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
