her vagine was all disorganized.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
