Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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