do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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