at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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