If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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