I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
