Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
