You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
