Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
