I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
