Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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