He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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