im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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