some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
