ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
