i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
