It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
