Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
