I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
