My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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