i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize