Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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