i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
