look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
