is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
