You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
