Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
