yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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