maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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