when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
handjob tips. give me some.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
