so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
