Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
