You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
did you just send me my own nude
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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