Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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