You made me cry and you don't even care
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
