We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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