how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
