So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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