you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
