I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
