and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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