Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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